I went to McDonalds yesterday lunchtime and bought a milkshake for the first time in about twenty years. And as I sat there trying to drink it through a straw, I realised I was still suffering from that most perennial of problems: a frustrating lack of suction.

So, being a resourceful grown-up type, I found a workaround. I took the lid off and drank it like a cup of tea. However, after polishing it off in double-quick time, I started to feel a little peculiar. My brain was starting to hurt around the edges...

I didn't realise it then but I was in the early stages of Brain Freeze.

The problem quickly worsened and, in spite of my attempts to thaw my brain out with copiuous amounts of hot tea, which I left to linger in my mouth for as long as possible, it lasted well into the evening. It was mad.

However, I do now realise why McDonalds' straws are so woefully inadequate for drinking milkshakes. It's a safety feature.

They ought to publicise that...

 

McDonalds Milkshakes
Almost As Thick As You