I had a catch-up this morning with a candid, young gay colleague about our respective weekends and let's just say there was a marked difference between the two...

For instance, I couldn't be bothered going on three dates with three different men, two of whom I'd never even met before. And I couldn't find the time to have a dramatic bust-up with one of them either. And I completely forgot to put any cocks up my bum. No, instead, I stayed in and watched the X Factor...