I went into work this morning and was greeted by the most gob-smacking news: one of my colleagues has contracted Swine Flu.

I honestly couldn't fucking believe it. That old Indian woman? I was speaking to on Friday? Without a toxic suit?

Anyway, as far as proximity goes, hopefully it'll start and end with her cos I'm not looking forward to being culled -hey, don't bullshit me. I've seen what you did to those cows.